The Simplest Explanation
}} Belkar calls out the Oracle on his questionable interpretation of the fulfillment of his prophesy. Cast * Roy Greenhilt (as spirit) ◀ ▶ * Haley Starshine ◀ ▶ * Belkar Bitterleaf ◀ ▶ * Celia ◀ ▶ * The Oracle of the Sunken Valley ◀ ▶ Transcript Oracle: OK, so let me just get in my oracular trance thingie... Haley: Great! We have just enough cast for three questions. Belkar: Nah, you know what? Don't bother, Haley. Save your money Belkar: This guy's answers aren't worth a copper piece. Oracle: Excuse me? I'll have you know my answers come with a money-back guarantee. Belkar: Yeah? Then get the assistant manager out here, I want a refund. Oracle: And I want to play center for the Toronto Raptors, but we're both out of luck, Cueball. Oracle: Your prophecy has already been fulfilled. Belkar: What?! That's ridiculous! I didn't get to kill ANY of those people. Celia: Wait, Belkar, what did you ask? Belkar: I asked whether I would kill Roy, Miko, Miko's horse, Vaarsuvius, or the oracle. Belkar: And all he said was, "yes". It was completely useless, and definitely hasn't come true yet. Oracle: On the contrary, my dim-witted friend. You caused the death of Roy. Celia: What?! Oracle: It's true Haley: Uh, no. Xykon killed Roy. I saw it myself Roy: Yeah, I know the difference between a dagger and a rock when it goes through my skull! Oracle: No, it was the fall from the zombie dragon that killed him. And Belkar gave Roy his Ring of Jumping +20, which allowed him to leap onto the back of the dragon in the first place Oracle: He caused that fall to be possible; without the ring, Roy would've face Xykon on solid ground. Belkar: So you're saying that Roy wouldn't have died if he had fought Xykon on the ground? Oracle: What? No, don't be dense. If Roy had found a way to duel Xykon on the ground, he probably would've died anyway. Dude is frickin' scary. Oracle: But at least then, there wouldn't have been a direct link between your little side wager with the thief and your leader's demise Roy: Wager? You BET on my life?? Celia: I'm sorry, but that's a stretch. Giving someone a ring is not the same as killing them! Oracle: Objection overrruled, Counselor. Never said he "killed" Roy, just that he "caused the death" of him. Oracle: Which is what the idiot technically asked me that day Oracle: And like any effect, that splat had many causes, such as gravity, the geological composition of the Southern Lands, a butterfly flapping its tiny wings somewhere, and an alarming deficit of jetpacks. Oracle: And I might add, your own lack of information about your boytoy's physical capabilities. Oracle: Well, beyond those capabilities that were necessary for him to throw you down on the— Roy: HEY! Celia: HEY! Belkar: That's the worst thing I've ever heard! Oracle: I know, you mammals are disgusting when you mate. Belkar: No, I mean saying that I caused Roy's death. Belkar: That doesn't count. Oracle: OK, OK, fine. How about this one then: Oracle: You also caused the death of the paladin, Miko Miyazaki. Haley: Miko's dead? Roy: Huh. Belkar: And so, the lives of the reasonable and pragmatic were once again safe. But what does that have to do with me? Oracle: Everything, actually. Oracle: She became convinced that the Order of the Stick was evil largely because they rallied to defend YOU in Lord Shojo's throne room. Oracle: This led her to conclude that you were working with Xykon, which in turn led her to believe that Shojo was working with Xykon. Oracle: This directly led to her killing Shojo, being imprisoned, and dying when the castle exploded. beat Belkar: That's even dumber than the first one!! Haley: Yeah, I mean, not that I wanted Belkar to kill anyone, but those are both pretty lame interpretations. Oracle: You caused the death of her horse, too. Oracle: If we choose to define "death" as our spirit being trapped in the Afterlife, then when you— Belkar: You weasely little piece of dragon crap, that's not what I meant and you KNOW it!! Oracle: And as for the elf— Belkar: Just shut up!! Belkar: Wait, you know what? Never mind. He's convinced me, my prophecy HAS come true. Haley: Are you sure? Because I think you have a pretty strong case for that refund. Belkar: Oh, I'm positive. Belkar stabs the Oracle, "shthlunk!" Oracle: Yeah... Oracle: I wasn't really buying those theories either... Oracle: Worth a shot tho... The Oracle falls backwards and dies Trivia * As the Oracle points out in panel 10, page 1, not only did Belkar give Roy the ring that enabled him to jump on to the Zombie Dragon, but had Celia not assumed that Roy could produce magical energy to break her amulet and summon her, she might have saved Roy. * Killing the Oracle fulfills the Oracle's prophesy for Belkar. Naturally he attempted to avoid it, but Belkar made it self-fulfilling. * In Panel 8, Page 1, the Oracle references the bet that Belkar made with the Grand Larceny Prisoner in 429 over whether or not that Roy would actually jump onto the Zombie Dragon. External Links * 567}} View the comic * 83377}} View the discussion thread Category:Return to the Oracle